Why does it bother you that I believe in hell? Why are you so anti-religion?

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend in the car. He said to me, "I'm such a terrible person." We have this conversation a lot. This guy -- we'll call him Thomas -- will, after making a mistake or a "bad" decision, mention how terrible/horrible/bad of a person he is. Or how he hates himself. He's said, "I'm definitely going to hell."

"Why do you think that you're going to hell?"

"I'm a terrible person."

I've responded with various short comebacks over the months, ranging from "hell doesn't exist" or "hell's on earth" to "you're not a terrible person, you just made a mistake, people make mistakes" or "you're too hard on yourself". The response depended on the situation at hand, and the topic changed shortly after.

But the last time we had this conversation I finally said, "This is ridiculous! God doesn't exist. You aren't a bad person! I don't get why you're so worked up over this. You're allowed to make mistakes and bad choices. Everybody does. That doesn't make you a bad person."

I  must have said this in a very direct way because he seemed to get angry and asked me, "Geez, why does it bother you so much that I believe in hell?! I'm allowed to have my own beliefs! Why are you so anti-religion?!"

I felt a bit ashamed then because I didn't mean to offend him. The truth is, I never saw Thomas as much of a religious person. He is far from kosher in his drug use and drinking habits. He's expressed dislike towards organized religion and distrust for religious people, and his difficult family life (ridden with religious fanaticism and drug use) gives him much reason to stray away from religion.

(one time, Thomas and I were driving and we pulled off at a Mormon church. 

he proceeded to spit on the window)

Throughout my life I have had contact with religious people, but it didn't start bothering me until a couple years ago. I became interested in religion (mostly Christianity) once I left school at the end of ninth grade. I thought, "Great, I have time to do cool stuff now!", and decided to start attending two youth groups and try out some churches (I affectionately called it church-hopping) I also found that 99% of homeschooling curriculum is Christian-based, incorporating religious material and biblical references even into math books and such. So for a good year or so I was really into classical religious expression, e.g. catholicism, mennonites and amish, etc. I wore longer skirts and read up about headcovering, which I found really interesting. I did some bible and theological studies and after a while I was completely disgusted by what I read, I talked with some Christians about big issues and was completely disgusted with what I heard, and overall I was left with a massive distaste for Christianity.

After coming to the realization that religion essentially preaches hate, intolerance and bad personal values (in addition to all that it also did not make me happy!) I shut it all out altogether. God was a bitch and he liked to kill people in tons of different ways, play favoritism, torture people, and control people's lives. It was kind of a process: I came to hate religion, then I came to  hate God for a while. Finally I came to the grand realization that God doesn't exist.

It was that revelation that started to change my life for the better. So if God doesn't exist, what does? I started to see things outside of the religious paradigm, outside of good vs. bad, black and white, one realm of consciousness, one way to live, one way to happiness. I stopped seeing people as good and bad, and actions as sin vs. charity, and I started seeing life as being full of real options (not: avoiding-sinfulness, sinfulness, and charity). Without God, everything is so much more organic, more real, less whitewashed.

So when Thomas asked me angrily what bothered me so much about religion, I wasn't sure how to respond. I must've stared at him for a long while, thinking of a way to approach that question without offending him further. I said,  "Religion hurts people, it makes them hate themselves and hate other people. It's just bad for everyone. I hate it because it makes people think things that aren't true, it changes who they are. You think God has a hell and a heaven and that you're going to hell?"

"Yeah. I know it."

"But hell doesn't exist!" I said exasperatingly. "I used to like God, then I started hating him because I realised he was so mean. So I thought, 'he probably doesn't even exist'. Eventually I just stopped believing in God."

"Hell exists!" he seethed with a sort of unknown emotion, almost like he was ashamed of his actions and remorseful and angry all at once.

He was quiet for a moment and then said, "God exists, he's just a bastard, created everything and then walked off. I hate God."

"So you should choose to ignore him. Act as if he doesn't exist, if you think he does. If God's such a bastard I wouldn't wanna go to heaven. Send me to hell anyday!"

We shared a moment of reflection.

"Do you know what they say about the big bang?" he said.

I shook my head no.

"God was jacking off. And then he came."

We shared a laugh and turned our attention to a song that had just started playing on the radio.

Otherside by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Thomas really liked the Red Hot Chili Peppers.